Millhouse entered middle age last week. He wasn’t that excited about it and really just wanted the day to pass without any sort of hoopla; but I was not to be deterred and insisting on marking this milestone with something epic.
So we went on a date.
I think it has been something like nine months since our last date so this was something we don’t do very often. Millhouse picked the restaurant. I took this as a good thing, I figured him being involved in the date process was a good sign and showed he wasn’t against the idea completely. Most times when I suggest a date, I get shot down immediately. Him not saying no immediately is good.
Now since we had decided to do this on Thursday night for Friday night and had picked a super popular restaurant, our choice of reservations was pretty limited. We ended up getting a reservation at 6:45pm. Now just to put the reservation time in perspective, the restaurant is about an hour away on a good day with no traffic and I get home from work at 5:15pm. That meant we would need to make it there in the height of rush hour in about an hour. So in order to make the reservation, I would have to book it home, speed shower, speed change and be out of the house in 15 minutes max.
It was a lot of pressure but it could be done. Millhouse agreed to bathe the boys & organize dinner for them so I could come home and get ready as soon as I got home and we were hoping we would make it to the restaurant in time.
Now when you have a plan with a super tight timeline, things always go wrong. Even though I left work early, I ended up getting home only five minutes earlier than I normally get home. I super speeded it through the shower but was stonewalled when it came to finding something to wear. I was planning on wearing jeans and a nice top but it was really hot on Friday and I didn’t want to wear jeans because if I ate a lot in tight jeans on a hot day, I would have been miserable. So I had to find a nice dress really quick.
After much rummaging, I just couldn’t find anything. And at the same time, I was telling Millhouse to change because he was wearing cargo shorts and a tee shirt with a picture of a kitten on it. I told him he couldn’t go to dinner wearing shorts and a tee shirt with a picture of a kitten on it. He didn’t want to change because he was comfortable in what he was in and he was getting agitated at me for even suggesting that he change his clothes.
After much arguing, he ended up putting on a collared shirt and jeans and was positively miserable by this point. He ended up just stomping down the stairs after he had changed and yelling at me to hurry up from the bottom of the stairs. His yelling coupled with the time, ticked me off and I ended up throwing on whatever and then just going downstairs, dressing as I went. I stomped out to the car and finished putting on my clothes while Millhouse was getting gas. Literally, I was putting on a shirt as he was pumping gas.
On the ride to the restaurant, things were tense and we barely spoke to one another. Millhouse was mad for having to change. And I was mad because I basically ended up changing in the car, wearing shoes I didn’t like. It was not a good way to start things off.
Even though we left the house 15 minutes later than we planned to, we ended up making it to the restaurant on time.
When he got there and saw just how tiny it was, I knew this whole date thing was a mistake. It was a totally loud, totally small restaurant with really tight seating. The restaurant was so small we ended up sharing a table with another group of people. For real, there was a group of three girls at the end of the table and we were on the other end of a table that sat eight. So doing the math, there were only two chairs in-between us. Millhouse does not like doing things like that and gets very uncomfortable being that jammed in with other people. Plus we were at the very back at of the restaurant where it was really hot. Heat and jammed up seating make Millhouse miserable. So I asked for a different table and was told there were none available. So we sat where they put us and Millhouse just got more and more stressed as the meal went on. We got through the appetizers pretty well but halfway through the main, he was ready to go. There was really nothing I could do for him to change his mind. He said he was tired of shouting over all the noise, dealing with the heat and having a loud group sitting at the same table as him, he just wanted to go and go right then and there. So whatever they had already cooked, they packed up for us and we left without getting dessert because they had not started cooking that yet for us.
After unceremoniously leaving the restaurant in a pretty big rush with a Millhouse who was leaving with or without his food, we headed up to meet some of our daycare mom friends at a local pub. Normally we are not pub type people but we were invited because one of the moms was celebrating her birthday. When we got there, the birthday girl was still having dinner with the people who had showed up early and there was no more room at her table so we ended up moving to the bar and waiting for them to finish up. We sat at the bar for about an hour and a half. The birthday girl, who was mighty tipsy at this point, came over to see Millhouse for a bit. She needed a dancing partner at this point and decided to use Millhouse as her pole because he is not a dancer and just stood there as she gyrated around him. Now Millhouse is used to inappropriate behavior and on the regular this sort of thing doesn’t bother him too much but after being miserable for most of the evening, this just did not sit well with him. This whole untimely dancing thing made Millhouse feel not so comfortable and we decided to leave shortly after that.
All and all this date was an epic fail.
Millhouse will probably take 18 months before he is ready to go out with me again. And I can’t say I blame him. I may just send him out with his friends because every time we try to do something like this, it just goes wrong.