Time to start pushing back

Work has me crying a lot lately.

Here’s what is going on:

I work for one of the biggest companies in the world.  I started out as just a cog in the wheel and worked my way up.  I got promoted in September to a account manager.  In a company of over 25, 000 people there are only 37 account managers and I am one of them.  We represent and are responsible for multi million dollar companies.  I am the first female, first minority and the youngest manager in the company ever.  So I am really proud of my accomplishments.

Last week I overheard someone at the very top at my clients talking to another VP.  He was talking about the competition and how after 20 years with us he was going to move on to another company.  This freaked me out and I texted my boss right away.  She freaked because to lose these guys would mean that the company is out close to double digit millions in revenue and not only would I be out of a job but an entire client team of 28 people in Asia would be out of a job. 

So she took the information as high as the CEO, so that they could all brain storm and come up with a plan of attack.  But instead of coming up with a plan to save the company, they decided that the reason that the client wanted to leave was because of me.  Apparently I am too junior for the position and they want to get rid of me and get someone older to take over the position.

So since that suggestion was made my life has been hell.  It has been late night phone calls, self doubt and frustration.  I cry every night because I didn’t screw up and I am getting punished for it.

And it really sucks.

I have put my life on hold to fix this and nothing seems to working.  I have stopped planning our orlando vacations because I don’t know what is going to happen.  But I hope that whatever happens that I come through stronger because right now I am beat down.

Posted in blogging, life

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