This time next week

I would have taken my first Clomid.  I would have started my first ever Clomid cycle. 

This terrifies me to the very core.  

I am not scared of taking medicine or anything like that.  I am scared that it won’t work.  The same thoughts keep running through my head, what if this doesn’t work?  We have put so much hope into this one little pill and what if it doesn’t work?  I am scared that the first cycle will fail, then the second cycle will fail and then the third and final cycle will fail.  

I don’t know what we will do if they fail.  We are hoping that things work out in the first three cycles because if they don’t we don’t have a plan.  I am not sure that I can handle what would come next if we decided to keep going.  

It scares me.

Posted in not knocked up

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