I have been thinking about food a lot.  I have been trying to find a way to encorporate my love of food into my life.  I have come up with two options; the first is going to cooking school to become a chef.  But that doesn’t seem feasible.  I would have to go to class for that and finding the extra time in my day to physically go to class is really hard.

So I opted for option 2, getting my masters online.  I am thinking about getting my online mba from Western Governors Online University.  I have been doing research on my masters and I think that using an online university is the best idea.  Western Governors seems like it would be one of my potential schools.  They offer comprehensive and detailed courses.  The workload is manageable and the cost of the course fees and the materials seems reasonable.

I am not 100% certain that I am going to go this route but it is a viable option.

Hi, my name is Meli and I have an addiction.

I love food.

Really, really, really love food.

If I ever won the lottery I would take an eating tour of the world.  I want to eat gourmet food, street food, fancy baked cooked and country mama’s comfort food.  I would be content just eating all the time.

This is a problem because I don’t like exercising.

So in order to not turn into the stay puffed marshmallow chick I have to find a physical activity that I like.  Another problem that I have is it’s winter.  My options for staying fit depend on winter sports and ski vacations.  And since I hate the cold neither of those appeal to me.

I’m stuck.

This post was originally supposed to be about my confusion regarding my ovulation testers.  The results that I have been getting are confusing me and this leads to some serious frustration on my part.  Millhouse is getting stressed because I am getting stressed and the stress doesn’t seem to be going away.

But I changed my mind.

Instead of getting mad and looking up something random like, dental implants Plano, I figured I would share the joys that I experience with one of my clients.  I have never encountered a personality like him before.  He called me today but I was on lunch.  I called him back as soon as I got back to my desk, which was about 15 minutes later.  But he was really mad at me when I called him back.  He felt that I should have been there to answer his call and because I wasn’t he had to figure the ‘problem’ out on his own.  He didn’t even want to talk to me when I called him back, he told me that he would call me back.

He never did.

I forgot something very important from my first bucket list.

• Being debt free

I have had debt since I started university.  I have carried it with me like excess weight.  And I am sick of it.  I want to be able to be debt free.  I don’t want to have anymore credit cards.  I don’t want to have minimum payments and overdrafts.  I want to be able to buy and sell motorhome if I want.  I want to be able to have savings and investments.  So this is going to be my one and only priority for the next ten years.

Then maybe I’ll retire…..

I have decided to write a bucket list for my next 10 years.  And because this is my wish list I am not putting anything realistic like getting an insurance quote or anything on there just yet.  I wanna get the things that I have always wanted to do out of the way first.

• Run a marathon.  A full marathon.
• Get my Masters.  My PhD can wait for now but I want to get my Masters before I turn 40.
• Learn another language.  Not sure what language yet but I want to be multi – lingual.
• Go to the Anthropology museum in Honduras because I am a nerd.

This is my list for the next 10 years.  It’s shorter than the list that I had for my 30th birthday but I think that this one is going to be harder to accomplish.

This weeks Spin Cycle is all about giving Thanks and what we are thankful for.  It seems like a really fitting topic for Sprite’s Keeper because the US Thanksgiving is this week and she is in the US.  Our Thanksgiving was last month.  I never really did a Thanksgiving post so I am thankful that I get the chance to do it now. 

I am thankful for so many things.  Some are obvious; I am thankful for my family, our health, and our jobs.  I am thankful that I love in Canada because as much as I complain about the cold, this is my home.  I am thankful for my home and my car.  I am thankful that I can share my thoughts and not be judged for it.  I am thankful for every single positive thing that has ever happened to me.  I am also thankful for the negatives that have happened to me because they have helped me grow as a person.  I am thankful that I can be optimistic, cynical and a dreamer all rolled up into one. 

But there are some things that I never really say that I am thankful for even though I couldn’t imagine life without them. 

I am thankful for butter.  I love butter, I really do.  To me adding butter to a dish, any dish, makes it better.  And I am so thankful that I can eat it as much as I do. 

I am thankful for sugar.  I have an insatiable sweet tooth that craves sugar in any form almost everyday.  Without sugar my tea would be bitter and I would be really cranky. 

I am thankful for Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream.  I didn’t know that it even existed until 3 weeks ago but now that I have discovered the fabulousness that it is I cannot imagine my life without it. 

I am thankful for Frosted Flakes.  It may not be the most good for you or grown up cereal out there.  But there is something about a big bowl of frosted flakes that makes my soul happy.  It may not be traditional comfort food but it comforts me. 

I am thankful for a large Pho on a cold and rainy day.  I was a little bit skeptical about the deliciousness of Pho when I first had the steaming bowl placed in front of me.  But it is the best thing to have on a cold, dreary day.  

I know that this isn’t your typical Thanksgiving post.  But I wanted to give a shout out to the little things in my life that make me happy and that I am eternally thankful for.

30 years ago today, the number 1 song on the Billboard chart was Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer – No More Tears (Enough Is Enough).

30 years ago today, the number 1 movie at the box office was Alien.

30 years ago today, the Prime Minister of Canada was Joe Clark.

30 years ago today, my mom had been 30 years old for 40 days.

30 years ago today, my dad had been 30 years old for 22 days.

30 years ago today, I was born.

It’s official.  I am now halfway to 60.

I had a list of things that I was going to accomplish by the time I was thirty.  I wrote the list when I was 18 and thirty seemed a million years away.  I wrote it when I had no worries, cares, responsibilities, or notion of just how fast and furious life could actually be. 

Looking it over, there is only one thing that has been crossed off the list. 

By the time I’m 30 I will: 

Have finished my masters & be working on my PhD.  (I still have every intention of doing this.  I will get my masters and PhD.  This is one goal I will not let myself give up on)

Have gone to Brazil for my fieldwork.  (This is tied to the one above)

Have had all my kids.  (Fate is messing with me on this one)

Be married.

Know how to cook like they do on the food network.  (This one is semi compete.  I cook like a cross between Rachael Ray and Nigella Lawson.  I want to cook like Michael Smith or Chuck though)

Have run a marathon.  (Working on it.  Running is hard. I don’t remember why I thought it would be easy.)

Have taken Karate.  (huh?)

Have played Mas in Trinidad.  (I have played Mas in Canada so this is semi, sorta, half way, almost done)

Be teaching or working in a museum.  (Still working on it)

Be published.  (Still working on it)

Have a really, really big house.  (Maybe a goal for when I’m 50) 

Seeing this makes me wonder, when I planned on sleeping?

Maks is hating his preschool class.  He puts up a fight in the mornings and in the afternoon he can’t wait to get out there.  He is constantly asking for his toddler teacher. 

This morning I bent and I took him over to see her. 

He was so happy.  He was taking off his coat and getting ready to go play with his old friends again.  When I told him that our visit was over and that it was time to go over to his new class he was really upset. 

His old teacher saw how upset he was, and said that she would walk with him to his new room.  He loved that.  He took her by the hand and brought her into his room and showed her all of his new things. 

Then she tried to leave. 

To say he was upset would be an understatement.  

My heart broke for him.  His preschool teacher was not pleased with me either.  I know that having his old teacher walk with us into his new room was not the best decision on my part but I don’t know how to get him to like his new room.  He has been in there a month now and things are progressively getting worse.  He has reverted back to wanting his bottle all the time and if I leave his sight for too long he gets really upset. 

I am not sure what I should do.  Should I keep him in the class a little longer and see how he does?  Should I ask to have him switched to another preschool class?  I am not sure what to do because Maks has gone from loving daycare to hating it.

I apologize. 

I am sorry to y’all that take the time to read me.  I know that I have been whiny the last little while and I don’t apologize for being sad, disappointed, beaten down and defeated.  I am allowed to feel those things. 

I am sorry that I have saddled you with them even if it was just for 3 seconds.  I shouldn’t have. 

I just feel like things are off right now.  I am feeling like all the things that I want to do and accomplish, I am not capable of doing.  And this is not from a lack of trying. 

I am trying and I keep failing.  Getting pregnant a second time around is not working.  Clomid is making me ill and I know that I should just be sucking it up because this is supposed to help me get pregnant.  But how can I think about the baby making part if the pill that is supposed to help me is making me dizzy, nauseous, and achy.  It’s not pretty people!  Plus in my head, there is this voice that is going on and on about how this is not going to work.  Not sure where this voice came from but I want to punch her in the nose.  The scary thing is that I am really not sure what is going to happen if this doesn’t work.  Millhouse wants to take it all the way to IVF if we have to.  But I don’t know if I can go that far.  Emotionally I cannot take much more. 

Work is kicking my ass.  I am trying to kick back but it seems like work is winning.  

I need a break.