Tomorrow night Beanz is making me go out clubbing.  Now I haven’t been clubbing in about a year and I am OK with this.  When I was younger I would go about 4 times a week.  I never drank, didn’t do drugs, I went for the music.  Dancing was my intoxication of choice.  I would get lost in the music and not want to leave until the lights got turned on and the barmaids started sweeping up.  I would be the girl on the speakers dancing even when everyone was going home.  I was a geeky clubber who used to close down the club. 

As I got older I didn’t go as much but I would still go a couple times a month.  Since I got married and had Maks I’ve been once.  That’s right in 3 years; I have gone out to dance once.  Now for someone who loves to dance this is huge.  I still love music but I don’t have the confidence, time or energy that I once did.  It’s so bad that my dad called me and tried to convince me to go out.  He is worried because I really don’t have a life outside work and home anymore.  I used to have a lot of things on the go but now I just don’t have the drive to go out and do things or see people.  I don’t mind my life but to a degree he is right.  I have started noticing that I don’t have anything to talk to people about.  My main topics of conversation are babies, cleaning products and work.  I know that this isn’t good but I am still terrified of going out tomorrow.  I am so scared that I get nauseous thinking about it.

©       I am going to be one of the oldest people there.  I am pushing 30 and I am going to be surrounded by a bunch of early 20 somethings.  I am now the 30 year old pervert that I used to discreetly point and whisper about.

©       I don’t have anything to wear.  My wardrobe consists of work clothes, and sweats.  Neither is acceptable for a night of dancing.

©       I don’t know how to dance anymore.  I dance to entertain Maks.  I dance to be silly.  I really have no actual dance moves left.

©       I don’t think that I will be able to stay awake past 10:30.  Most nights I am asleep by 10pm, how in the heck am I going to stay awake past midnight?

I am hoping that I go and have a super fun time because if I don’t I don’t think that I will ever go again.

Today Millhouse turns 29. 

Yep, you read that right.  He’s turning 29 as I prepare to turn 30.  I’m older than him but not by much and I am very prepared to stop and wait for him to catch up. 

So anyway pushing my own aging issues aside I just wanted to say – Happy Birthday Husband!! 

We don’t normally celebrate Millhouse’s birthday especially now with Maks here.  Millhouse isn’t a big birthday person.  He usually plays it off as just another day and usually cringes when I insist that we go out and do something in honour of the day that he showed up.  But now with Maks here things get complicated.  Their birthdays being 6 days apart it makes planning two parties hectic, and very expensive.  In fact the year Maks was born; I didn’t give Millhouse anything.  I did acknowledge his birthday but I figured that birthing him a child was present enough and my leaky boobs wouldn’t let me leave the house.  So he got zip.  Last year Maks got him a present and a pizza and I think that is what is going to happen again this year.  We’ll keep it low key and it’ll involve pizza. 

That being said I wanted to make up for the lack of festivities with a kick ass blog post complete with pictures and loving sentiments.  But I don’t think that is going to happen either.  I looked really hard to find a really goofy picture of him to post with some cute caption about how much I love him but I came up with nada. 

So this is what he gets.

Millhouse on your 29^th birthday I give you a birthday shout out. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 

Maks & I love you with all our hearts even if we don’t say it all the time.  You rock as a husband and a daddy.  Without you we would have no belly to jump on, no glasses the run away with and no bald head to rub for good luck.  Hope you have an awesome day.

And maybe next year you’ll get more that pepperoni pizza and a Mater party hat.  And no we didn’t get you a new LCD TV.

Maks turned 2 last Friday and ever since then he has been acting out.  He’s not sleeping through the night anymore.  In fact he only wants to sleep in our bed.  He fights to go to sleep in his bed.  He is refusing to go potty anymore.  And he has stopped telling that he has to go.  He used to go every morning on his own accord.  And then tell us before he went during the day.  But he has stopped doing all that.  He doesn’t want to eat on his own anymore either.  He only wants his bottle.    

I have no idea what is going on.

I am not sure if all this big kid talk is getting to him and he doesn’t want to be a big kid anymore.  I am hoping that this is all just a phase.

* Here is some background on my house, it is old.  It is older than me.  It was built in the early 70’s and most of it is original.  I like my house because it is so old.  I like my neighborhood because it is old.  We have grass, trees, flowers, big backyards and grouchy neighbors.  Ed and Edwina (my cranky next door neighbors) have lived in their house since it was built.  So has Mabel down the street.  I am walking distance from three schools, and a strip mall.  That’s why I didn’t want to live in the new subdivision that they built twenty minutes down the road.  I like my house, I just don’t like some of the things that need fixing in my house.*

During Maks birthday party all but one light on the top floor of my house went out.  Millhouse figured it was a blown breaker and I figured that he broke it.  So we had an electrician come in because I will be damned if I was going to let Millhouse fiddle with electrical things.  But I wasn’t ready for what he told me.  We were having little fires in our walls for a long time now.  Apparently our outlets were sparking.  They were burning the wires.  And an actual fire was imminent. 

Now I don’t believe people too easily, I am wary of people telling me that I need a lot of stuff done, so I demanded proof of this very scary information and boy did he gave it to me.  He went into Maks’ room and unscrewed the outlet.  He turned it 45 degrees and I watched the sparks start jumping.  I was standing so I was 5 feet from the outlet and the sparks were there and bright.  I don’t know much about electricity but I know that sparking outlets are not a good thing.  So he changed all of them.  And he is coming back on Saturday to change some more wiring.   

So to all of you out there with older homes even y’all with newer homes, keep an eye on your outlets and lights.  If your lights start to flicker for no reason or if you outlets feel hot to the touch, have them checked out.  According to the electrician this is a very common thing that a lot of people don’t really pay attention to.

I am giving Stephanie Meyer another chance.

I am very upfront in saying; I am not a Twilight fan. I think Jacob is an awesome character that should get his own book but the rest of them were wooden, monochromatic and boring. That being said I am curios to see if Meyer is able to carry a story outside of the vampire / love story genre so I picked up The Host.

I am about ½ way through the book and I have to say I am unimpressed. The story is slow and basic. It has a 2 part premise that is apparently supposed to be interwoven but Meyer seems to be having a rough time intertwining them.

The first part of the story is that these ‘life forms’ called souls come to earth and start to implant themselves into our bodies. There are a select few humans that haven’t gotten these ‘souls’ implanted in them yet and they are fighting against them. Now here’s the thing, these souls are trying to make earth a better place. Once they implanted themselves into the humans they made the murders, and pedophiles turn themselves in. They changed the humans from money hungry, emotional, aggressive beings into considerate and loving people. And the rebels don’t like that. They want things the way they were, which in my opinion is ridiculous. There is no more war, starvation, or genocide but they are against this. Now the hosts don’t change the people, they use their personalities, memories and character traits to keep them going. There is a strong emphasis that the unknown and change is a bad thing and one should always stick to what they know.

The second part of the story is that Melanie (one of the rebels) has been captured and she has a soul (Wanderer) implanted into her. However, she is strong enough to withstand the soul and instead of having the soul take over her, she uses the soul to achieve her goal. And what is her goal – finding her boyfriend Jared because they were meant to be together. Here Meyer falls back into the Twilight pattern. Jared is beautiful and Melanie has to be with him. Here’s what ticks me off about this – Jared is 26, Melanie is 17. They should not be romantically linked, even if they are the last two people on earth. Melanie is all about sleeping with him. She asks him on several occasions to sleep with her and he says not yet. (Very reminiscent of Twilight and Bella’s need to get Edward to sleep with her) And lastly all they have so far is a physical attraction. There is no emotional or mental connection. They don’t have any meaningful conversations; they are together because there is no one else for them to be with.

But I am not done yet. Maybe things will improve in the second half of the book.

So I got me a tape measure so now I can keep track of the inches that I have lost rather than focusing on the scale. Especially since the scale and I have a love / hate relationship. I love to hate it.

So without further ado here are my measurements.

Bust: 37 inches (I some OK sized nungas I guess)
Waist: 37 inches (So far I’m a square)
Hips: 41 inches (I knew that one)

I am a square with a big butt who has a high risk for heart disease.

Grrreat!

Boys and girls guess what day it is? 

It’s Tuesday! 

You know what that means The Un Mom has opened Pandora’s box and the randomness is on the loose.  Be sure to check out her out, she’s got beer.  At least I think she has beer…..but if she doesn’t I know she’s got zombies.  Zombies are almost like beer.

How do you politely tell someone that they have a gigantic booger hanging precariously out of their nose?  I tried the rubbing the nose bit and sniffing but now they think that I have been snorting the coffee sweetener.  If this was one of my loved ones I would just say, you have a giant booger in your nose and it is about to fall into your coffee but I can’t say that at work.  I’ll be sent to sensitivity training……again.

Am I the only one who thinks that Jon and Kate should be off the air?  I watched the season premiere last night and it broke my heart.  I really think that they should stop filming the blasted show and work on their family.  There are 8 (!!) kids involved here; they need a healthy home more than their parents need pimped out rides and personal assistants!!  Kate should hang out with Michelle Duggar.  She’s got a thousand kids, no personnel assistants and other than the fact that she has been pregnant for half her life, she is fairly normal.  She’s not completely normal but she’s not as crazy as Kate.

Why is it that little girls have such an abundance of clothing choices and little boys have one rack at the back of the store?  I went shopping for a baby girl this week and there were rows and rows of clothes for me to choose from.  There were swim suits, little dresses complete with hat and matching underwear, pants sets, onesies and sleepers.  I go shopping for Maks and my choices are shirts and pants in plaid, stripes or solids.  That’s it.  No cute little outfits with matching hats and shoes.  No fun patterns.  Just stripes, plaid or solids. 

Why is it that I am more tired AFTER a vacation than I am BEFORE a vacation?  I had 11 days off.  I did plan to clean but I also planned to nap, read and relax.  I did the cleaning bit but that took me all 11 days.  I did go a little bit crazy, if you consider mopping under the couches crazy.  But it all needed to get done.  I never really got to nap, read or relax though.  I am really glad to be back at work because now I can chill for a bit.

How come Muppets don’t have parents?  I don’t remember ever seeing a senior Muppet.  There were no father and son or mother and daughter combinations.  Were there parent Muppets?  If not, where did the Muppets come from?  I know that Gonzo came from space but what about the rest of them?

Why is it no one tells me that bangs are a bad idea?  OK maybe they did but in my head instead of hearing how ridiculous I would look, I heard how supa dupa fly I would look and ignored all the nay sayers.  I shouldn’t have done that because now I have this fly away thing in the front of my face that refuses to be tamed and I am reduced to wearing multiple slide clips in my hair to control it. 

On Friday was Maks’ 2nd birthday and yesterday was his party.  It was super fun but I am so tired.  I never realized that planning a party for a toddler was so much work.  There is the cleaning before, during and after plus all the organizing and entertaining.  We ended up ordering the majority of the food and hitting up Costco for the finest paper plates one can buy in bulk.  But it still took a lot out of me.  I have to hand it to my family even at a 2 year olds birthday party, they will stick around until the sun goes down.  It doesn’t matter that they showed up at noon or not.

I know that I am getting old now because I feel like I did after hotel parties in my youth.  Even my house reminds me of the parties I used to go to in my early twenties.  There is a funky smell, weird stains on the floor and two guys sitting on the couch in their underwear eating leftover cake.  OK one guy is in his pull ups and to be fair it was his birthday cake and the other I married.  So it is not quite the same.  But you get the idea.

Now I am going to sit down with a cup of green tea and the classifieds.  I need to relax and maybe look for a Pleasanton motorcycle accident attorney to take my mind off of the mess that awaits me in the bathroom.

I found this and it made me feel really old.  Here’s some info all about me.

I’m playing Mas* in Caribana again this year.  For those of you that don’t know what Caribana is, it a Caribbean festival / parade that is held in Toronto every year.   There are costumed masquaraders, live steel pan music and lots of good food.  I love Caribana and I look forward to it every year.  I have been in the parade since I was about 12 years old.  I played when I was young.  When I hit my teenage years I stopped participating but I still enjoyed going to the parade.  But about 4 years ago I started playing again and I haven’t looked back since. 

I am going to play with Nationz this year which is a change from the band that I usually play with.  I used to be a strong supporter of Callaloo but last year wasn’t so great so I am trying somthing new this year.  And I’m going to be a Scabiosa!

Now you see why I have to lose some weight.

*Playing mas means being in the parade as a costumed participant.  I am one of the 1.2 million people that can be found dancing my way down the Lakeshore for six hours straight.