This week’s spin cycle over at Sprite’s Keeper is all about pet peeves.  Well when I saw the topic I couldn’t contain myself.  Something happened today that wedged its way into my long list of many pet peeves. 

My newest pet peeve is the slow dissolution of the English language.  Now I know that some major university in the US wasted a ton of money and did some study that determined that social networking sites and texting is causing the disintegration of the English language amongst students.  But I have actual proof of this and I didn’t get paid $2500 an hour for my research.  I was reimbursed in frustration, annoyance and a small amount of wonder. 

Here’s what happened.  The temp has now graduated to actually sending out emails.  I have him send out easy stuff, requests for back up and quotes, nothing too technical.  He is just a temp after all and I didn’t want to overwhelm him.  So I dictated the email and he typed away and sent it out.  He has seemed to be pretty comfortable with everything that he was sending out so I didn’t question him much, until I looked at the email.  He sent the following to a client: 

Hi Xxx

How r u???

Ur rates need to be updated.

IDK if u want me to update on ur behalf.

Pls let me know.

TTYS, temp 

I was beyond upset that he sent this to a client.  Never in a million years did I think that I had to specify that you had to spell out the actual words.  This wasn’t a text he was sending to a friend it was correspondence to a client, there is a difference!  He was shocked when I explained this to him.  He said that this is how he sent out all of his emails, personal and professional.  I would never send a customer an email like this, simply because if my boss ever saw it I would most likely be fired!  But according to Temp this is what is acceptable now.  I was shocked. 

So that brings me to the purpose of this post, my pet peeve, the death of the English language.  I understand that there are character limits when texting tweeting and facebooking but good God doesn’t anyone use real words anymore?  I like sentences and punctuation.  They were invented for a reason and I think they serve a purpose and they are slowly disappearing. 

If I see one more LOL I am going to freak!

This week Sprite’s Keeper wants to know our holiday wish list in the spin cycle and I am all about that!  I have been compiling my list all year so I am ready to let Santa aka Millhouse know what I want.

 *Disclaimer:  you are not going to find world peace, global economic stability, a cure for all disease great and small and goodwill to all people regardless of race, gender, sexuality, physical ability, or mental capabilities on this list.  They are not on my list because I am a selfish hag but because I wish for these things every single day that I take a breath.  These are not my Christmas wishes, these are my daily wishes.* 

 For the holidays this year I want: 

• To use the bathroom twice a week without a single disturbance.  I want to be able to do my business without getting a visit from Maks, who insists on keeping me company when I am in the potty.  I am not asking for privacy every time I go, that would be damn near impossible but a couple times a week should be doable, dontcha think?
• I would like three good hair days a week.  I know that with my hair this is hard to do but give my ponytail a break.  I would love to have neatly coiffed hair at least a couple days a week.
• I would like some time to make at least 4 home cooked meals a week.  And now santa, don’t get tricky I am not talking about making mac and cheese with chicken nuggets here I am talking about having the time to make something that’s not freeze dried, frozen or microwaveable.
• I would like to sleep for 8 hours straight for at least 5 nights a week.  I would like to be able to go to bed at nine and wake up at five feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day.  No more getting up groggy, and cranky after hitting snooze numerous times.

 That’s all I want.  No new car, no alarm clock that simulates the sun rising, nothing too fancy or electronic.  So dearest sister, help a chick out, PLEASE!!

This weeks Spin Cycle is all about giving Thanks and what we are thankful for.  It seems like a really fitting topic for Sprite’s Keeper because the US Thanksgiving is this week and she is in the US.  Our Thanksgiving was last month.  I never really did a Thanksgiving post so I am thankful that I get the chance to do it now. 

I am thankful for so many things.  Some are obvious; I am thankful for my family, our health, and our jobs.  I am thankful that I love in Canada because as much as I complain about the cold, this is my home.  I am thankful for my home and my car.  I am thankful that I can share my thoughts and not be judged for it.  I am thankful for every single positive thing that has ever happened to me.  I am also thankful for the negatives that have happened to me because they have helped me grow as a person.  I am thankful that I can be optimistic, cynical and a dreamer all rolled up into one. 

But there are some things that I never really say that I am thankful for even though I couldn’t imagine life without them. 

I am thankful for butter.  I love butter, I really do.  To me adding butter to a dish, any dish, makes it better.  And I am so thankful that I can eat it as much as I do. 

I am thankful for sugar.  I have an insatiable sweet tooth that craves sugar in any form almost everyday.  Without sugar my tea would be bitter and I would be really cranky. 

I am thankful for Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream.  I didn’t know that it even existed until 3 weeks ago but now that I have discovered the fabulousness that it is I cannot imagine my life without it. 

I am thankful for Frosted Flakes.  It may not be the most good for you or grown up cereal out there.  But there is something about a big bowl of frosted flakes that makes my soul happy.  It may not be traditional comfort food but it comforts me. 

I am thankful for a large Pho on a cold and rainy day.  I was a little bit skeptical about the deliciousness of Pho when I first had the steaming bowl placed in front of me.  But it is the best thing to have on a cold, dreary day.  

I know that this isn’t your typical Thanksgiving post.  But I wanted to give a shout out to the little things in my life that make me happy and that I am eternally thankful for.

I tell you there are some days when I swear that Sprite’s Keeper is a mind reader.  The spin cycle this week is about birthdays and anniversaries.  And wouldn’t you know it yesterday was my 3^rd wedding anniversary. 

Now I could go on and on about how much I love my husband and how he is the light of my life and yada, yada, yada. But I’m not.  Instead here’s the reason why you didn’t see an anniversary post on my blog yesterday. 

And no, I didn’t forget our anniversary; I chose not to remember it.  There’s a difference. 

I think Hallmark has taken over the world.  I really do.  With the advent of the greeting card they have taken over the world.  There is a greeting card for everything and people are losing their marbles because of that.  I know people who celebrate their anniversary weekly!!  Now that is a bit much.  The word anniversary has annual in it.  You don’t have to celebrate not breaking up every week.  It gets tiresome and I really don’t want to hear about it. 

Now I am not anti – big celebration and milestones, just be selective. 

Millhouse & I celebrated our dating anniversary annually.  Since neither of us was too sure about the actual date that we started dating, we just picked a random day in the month that we started dating and that became our anniversary.  We celebrated 5 of them.  For the wedding anniversary it was a bit easier to keep track of the day that I donned a red sari / white wedding dress and he a suit.  It was a long weekend.  But we still don’t make a really big deal about it.  We go out to dinner and Beanz and Stinky come over.  

That’s about it. 

You know when I will make a big deal about it – when we actually make it.  My parents celebrated their 33^rd wedding anniversary this year; I think they should celebrate that.  3’s not so big of a deal when you compare it to 33. 

To me anyway. 

So on that note – Millhouse, I love you.  Happy Anniversary.  Let’s do this again next year, same time and place.

Sprite’s Keeper picked the most awesome – ist of topics for spin cycle this week:  books!!  I love books.  I have a whole other blog in which I blabber on about my love of the written word and all the books that I read, and want to read.  You want an example of how much I love books; when most kids were participating in skip – a –thons, bike – a – thons, and run – a – thons to make money to save the whales, penguins and tigers, I was participating in read – a – thons.  And I did pretty good too.  I ♥ books.  I want to build a library in my house and I have 3 boxes of books in my basement that I have read but don’t have the shelf space for.  So this topic is right up my alley.

The only thing is; I don’t know which book to choose.  I have so many that I could review but I don’t know which one to pick.  I could tell you about how much I detest the entire Twilight series.  I found the collection to be dribble and lack any sort of substance.  Edward was obsessive, controlling, mean, and just too pretty.  Bella was one dimensional, had no personality, and boring.  It upsets me to no end that there are little girls, tweens, teens, and some adults out there that was so enamoured with this series that they want to emulate the main characters.  Bella is willing to abandon her family, friends and all she has ever known to be with a good looking guy because if she isn’t with her she can’t get any better because so is so plain.  She is willing to be with someone that will try to force her to get an abortion, tell her to sleep with her best friend if she wants to have a baby, tell her to stop talking to her best friend, and leave her broken for weeks only to come back because he thinks she is dead!  It’s ridiculous! 

Besides I’ve said all this before.

So I’m not going to talk about Twilight.   

I am going to talk about Shame by Salman Rushdie.  This is by far my most favorite book of all time.  I love it.

Shame like a lot of Rushdie’s books follows the life of several characters from birth to death.  These characters start out as separate entities, in difficult geographic locations and with completely different backgrounds and histories at the start of the book.  But as the story begins to pick up it interweaves the characters into each others lives.  Some make a large impact while others are just a presence in the background; their stories intermingle, merge, and separate again.  It is a difficult read, but a very satisfying one.

If you get the opportunity I would suggest you read it.  Salman Rushdie is not for everyone but the complexity of this story makes it very rewarding.  You will get lost in the lives of people that start out in a very different time and eventually transcend into the present.

Since Maks was born my life has turned into one big routine.  So when Sprite’s Keeper chose routines as this week’s Spin Cycle topic I figured I would just talk, well blog about, the many routines that were implemented when Maks was born and now dictate my every waking second.  You know something easy, like his wake up routine or bath time routine or his bed time routine.  These are all things that we do the same way every single day.  And if something is off, everything gets thrown off, that’s just how regimented we are.

 But when I sat down to actually write the post I changed my mind.  I have a work routine that I have been doing for the past five (!) years and I didn’t even realize it.  It has been the same since I started here and it wasn’t until I stopped and actually thought about the way that I did things that I realized I did this.  So without further ado here’s my morning routine. 

 8am (in my car) – turn down my radio and turn off my heat.  Take off my sunglasses and leave them in the passenger seat.  Pick up my coffee cup and exit the car.

 8:05am (in the parking lot) – walk with coffee cup over to the passenger side of my car, place travel mug on roof of car and change out of my flip flops into appropriate work shoes.  (In the winter I change out of runners into work shoes)  Take purse and lunch bag (aka my baggage) out of the car, lock the door, and retrieve travel mug from the roof of my car.

 8:10am (in the office) – say good morning to boss if he is in.  Put down baggage on my cubicle and remove bottle of water, granola bar, and (now) Maks’ baba from lunch bag.  Turn on my computer and glance at my phone to see if I have any messages.  I never do but I check everyday anyway.  Walk with baba and travel mug to the kitchen. 

 8:15am (in the kitchen) – put baba in the fridge.  Empty travel mug and make a brand new cup of green tea.

 8:17am (at cubicle) – call Stinky & my mom.  Let them know I am at work, what Maks is wearing so that my mom can spy on him via the daycare webcam and tell them to have a good day.

 8:18am (at desk) – sign into computer and send an email to Tru & Nai letting them know what the temperature is and the latest events of my life.

 8:20am (still at desk) – start working.

 Yeah, I do this everyday.  I’m way more structured than I thought.

This week over at Sprite’s Keeper the Spin Cycle topic is driving.  And really I was going to pass on it this week.  I mean nothing spectacular has ever happened to me concerning driving.  

 I mean I did make my dad drive me to the license office at 8am on the morning that I turned 16.  Only to find out that the computers were down and that I couldn’t take the test that day.  That made me cry and I made him drive an hour away so I could take a written test at another office that didn’t have computers.  Now, because I am a super genius I figured driving was common sense and I didn’t need to read that silly book with all the rules and things.  And because I am such a super genius, I failed the written test at noon on my 16^th birthday.  More tears ensued and I made my dad take me back to the license office the very next day after I had stayed up all night studying the book in English and French to rewrite the test. 

 I passed that time.

 But that’s not spectacular.

 Neither is the fact that I ran our Wonder Years station wagon into a snow bank the first time my dad ever let me drive it with my learners permit.  That’s one of the joys of having your birthday smack dab in the middle of winter.  He was not impressed.  Nor was he impressed when he and I were practicing driving at the mall and I got pulled over by a security guard because I was driving in circles at 40km. 

 I still managed to get my license though.

 But that’s not spectacular.

 I drive like a girl.  I stay in the right lane unless I have to go left then I stay in the left lane.  I drive the speed limit.  I only make left turns at lights.  I hate parallel parking and I refuse to do it.  I can’t reverse park.  And God help me if I ever have to make a U turn.

 But that’s not spectacular.

 See now why I wanted to pass on the spin? 

But then yesterday happened.

Maks and I usually have a very relaxed ride home from daycare / work.  He spends the majority of the time trying to convince that he *really* needs a lollipop and I spend the majority of the time convincing him that he *really* doesn’t need a lollipop and that his orange is way better than a lollipop.  But yesterday as soon as we merged onto the highway he said those faithful words “Mommy, poo poo toilet” and he kept repeating it making a “I have to go right now or else I will explode face’.  And to make things more fun. he was in underwear not a Pull Up.  Now it’s great that he told me.  We are at 4 weeks accident free but I saw a really bad accident looming on the horizon if I didn’t get this kid to a potty quick.  To make matters even more interesting I was stuck in the middle of the highway.  I was too far from the daycare to go back and too far from home to get there in time, if I drove like I normally do.  So I channeled Lightening McQueen and I drove as fast (and safe) and I could.  I was changing lanes, and passing people.  It was very much not like me.  All the while I was trying my best to distract Maks from the rumbling in his tummy. I called Millhouse from the road and told him to get ready.  There was going to be a sprint to the potty.  We made it home in record time.  Millhouse was waiting outside with the front door wide open.  He grabbed Maks as soon as we pulled into the driveway (I don’t think that the car was even in park) and ran with him to the potty. 

And wouldn’t you know it; the kid was just messing with us.  He didn’t have to go.

Let the randomness begin!  And when you’ve had your fill over here, head over to the Un Mom, she’s got some crazy random thoughts.

 Boot camp and Zumba has made me realize just how uncoordinated I am.  Not just in a physical aspect either.  I can fully admit that I have a hard time moving my hips, swinging my arms about and moving sideways all at the same time.  But even my wardrobe is uncoordinated compared to the people in my class.  The instructor’s shoes always match his pants and hair.  And there are people in the class that dress way too nicely to be sweating.  Their outfits and shoes match perfectly.  I am talking about a grey and pink track suit, with a pink tank top underneath and grey and pink Nikes.  And don’t get me started on the hair.  It looks lovely as they bounce around.  Me on the other hand is in the back corner with the black track pants that I stole from my mom, a purple tank top and pink and white shoes with blue socks and a droopy pony tail.  

 At some point last week Millhouse felt old.  In order to combat that feeling old feeling he started wearing an earring again.  I hate it.  It looks weird.  His head is too round for an earring.  And to make matters worse, it is one of those bling bling gangsta studs.  It’s huge.  It just looks odd.  He didn’t have an earring when we met.  If he did, no amount of Tim Bits and pretending to like walks would have gotten me to go out with him.  I would much rather he wears Super Mario tee shirts than the earring.  Did I mention, I don’t like it?

 Hiking in flip flops are a really bad idea, especially if Beanz picks the trail.  In my defense I figured that since it was after boot camp we would go to a nice easy trail with a well worn flat path.  So flip flops would be OK.  We would be going on more of a stroll than a hike.  Nope, it didn’t work out that way.  We went to the badlands where we had to scale mountains and slide down hills on our bums.  So yeah, flip flops were a bad idea.

 In an attempt to motivate my weight loss, I tried on my Caribana costume from last year.  It fit OK, until I moved.  Then all the jelly flopped out.  It wasn’t pretty and I have a long way left to go and only 3.5 weeks to do it.  YIKES!

 It’s freezing!  I’m freezing!  Seriously this cannot be July.  Right now it is only 18C (60F).  That’s not summer weather.  That’s early May weather.  I have had to take my fall clothes out of retirement because the summer stuff that I have isn’t warm enough.  My flowers are all confused and don’t know whether they should bloom or die.  And I haven’t worn a swimsuit outdoors yet this year (not that I am complaining too much about that part).  I really like summer and it sucks that Mother Nature is being like this.

This week Sprites Keeper has picked a topic I know a bit about.  Now I’m not saying I am any kind of expert, but I am learning as I go along.  The spin cycle this week is all about the kids.  I have a couple kids in my life, I am not counting Millhouse or Beanz here.  My counting of children is strictly limited to the people whose physical age is under that of 13 years old.  If I was counting all the people in my life with a mental age of 13 and under, this list would be way longer.  

 Anyway, because I have so many things that I could say about the kiddies, I have decided to compile a list.  I like lists.  They make my life easier.  Besides if I had to write a post about all their escapades it would be really, really long.  And my fingers would start to hurt and I would need a chocolate / ice cream break.  And because that would so not be good for my diet I have decided to keep it simple.  So that being said here is my top ten list a la David Letterman of things that I have said out loud and in public to Stinky and Maks and you can pretty much guess the stories behind the phrases.

 10.  No Stinky!  You don’t need to show Joey (MIL’s dog) how to eat dog food.  He already knows.

 9.  Maks stop!  Don’t lick the bottom of your shoe.  I’ll get you another popsicle.

 8.  You do look very beautiful Stinky but you can’t wear your Cinderella dress and sparkly shoes to daycare today.  And come here quick so I can wash your face before Grandma sees you.  You have to ask her permission before you put on her make up.

 7.  Thank you for the boogie Maks.  You did a very good job getting it out but next time ask mommy for a tissue and I can help you.  Now please go wash your hands.

 6.  Stinky did you eat that entire bag of chocolate chips / marshmallows / tin of Milo ?!?!

 5.  Maks please don’t put cheese on the car window.  

 4.  Yes Stinky you do have an awesome rock collection.  But the car door is not the place to keep them.

 3.  Maks open your mouth right now.  You do not eat dirt.

 2.  Stinky please stop singing the song that never ends.  Please.

 1.  Maks get mommy’s bra off your head.  It is not a hat.

 Ah kids, gotta love them.

Oh, Sprite’s Keeper picked a dozy this week.  This week’s spin cycle is all about those magical words that makes your world go round.  And no I don’t mean “Out of debt”.  I mean “I love you”.

I was going to write about the first time that Millhouse told me that he loved me.  But I don’t remember when that was.  Hell I don’t even remember when we started dating.  It is amazing if I remember our anniversary.  If you ask him he would say that I said those three words first but I swear he told me before I told him.  Because I would never tell him before he told me.  That would involve me willing to accept rejection and I ain’t that brave.

So I am not going to tell you the story of when Millhouse proclaimed his undying love to me.  I am going to tell you about the first time a boy proclaimed his love for me.  

I was in grade 6, Miss Path’s class.  His name was Randy* and he was a year older than me but in the same grade.  (He was held back.)  He was best friends with Mike* and I was so crushing on Mike.  Mike had a younger brother.  I had a younger sister.  Mike wore glasses.  I wore glasses.  It was a match made in heaven, if only Randy would leave me alone.  He was always there; carrying my backpack, saving me a seat a lunch, and turning the skipping rope.  He was even there at the year end dance.  He was there when Mike turned me down and danced the entire afternoon with Pat.  It broke my heart and I wanted to hide.  But Randy danced with me.  It was the typical grade 6 girl / boy dance.  We stayed an arms length apart and swayed.  It was great.  After the dance he walked me home.  (We lived in the same apartment building so technically he was walking home too.  But that’s just a technicality.)  When we got to the building I went upstairs to my apartment and he stayed downstairs to play with the other kids.  After I got home I went out on my balcony (we lived on the 3^rd floor) and Randy was standing there.  I yelled down and asked him what he was doing.  He yelled back up – Meli I love you!  I did what any preteen girl would do at that point; I ran into my room and called my friends.  After we discussed it for about a half an hour I ran back out and yelled down at him – I love you too!  

The smile he gave me after that made instant butterflies in my stomach.

Randy moved that summer and I have never seen him since.  But when I think of him I still smile. 

* I changed the names because even though all this happened 20 years ago, you never know who reads this.