Here is another page from Stinky’s Wimpy Kid book.  I love this book and really do spend a lot of time thinking up the answers to these things.

What is the most embarassing that ever happened to someone that wasn’t you?

Oh there are so many answers to that questions but I don’t know if I am allowed to go into detail about them.  So I will just list them quickly. 

• There was the time that Millhouse had too much to drink and as a result we were not allowed to make left turns.  Unfortunately there were a lot of left turns on the ride home and he spent a lot of time hanging out of the car window.
• There was the time that Beanz decided that firemen weren’t so hot and she went over to drop off her donation to the food bank in her pj’s.  Turns out firemen really are that cute. 

What is the worst thing you ever ate?

As in food product?  This is hard because I really like food.  I would have to say that Phillipino shrimp paste and I just don’t get along.  Most shrimp items I am good with but for some reason I wasn’t able to swallow this.

How many steps does it take you to take you to jump into bed after you turn off the light?

None.  I turn off the light from the bed.  Niffy huh?

How much would you be willing to pay for an extra hour of sleep in the morning?

$20 on weekends and $50 during the week.

Have you ever pretended you were sick so you could stay home from school?

Damn skippy!  I’ve played sick so I didn’t have to go to work too. 

Does it get on your nerves when people skip?

Not really but I don’t know that many people that skip.

Did you ever do something bad that you never got busted for?

Um………….your turn!!!

Stinky turned 8 on Monday.  That freaks the pants off me.  In the same amount of time that it took for her to learn to walk, talk, read, write, speak French, declare her love for the Jonas Brothers, become addicted to all things pink and sparkly; she would become a full blown teenager.  

In keeping with the traditions of the past few years I figured I would write a sappy post that proclaimed my love for the Ninja Princess and outlined all the birthday wishes that I had for her.  But I changed my mind.  I decided that instead of declaring Stinky’s birthday wishes via internet I would share some random facts about her instead. 

• Stinky has a legion of Ninja warriors* that have sworn to do her bidding.  Her quest for world domination is now in full motion.  I have already sworn my allegiance to her for fear of her repercussion when she becomes leader of everything.  I think you should too.
• Stinky saw Toddlers and Tiaras and she had the opposite reaction to her mom and I.  She wants to do it.  Well, she wanted to do it.  She all about pageants until we had to get her ready for her dance recital.  Putting on eye liner brought her back to reality and made her decide that pageants aren’t that much fun. 
• Stinky won’t touch a worm.  But she will look at them in the bait bucket and scream out ‘ewwwwww’ for 20 minutes.
• Stinky is super awesome.  She is sweet, caring, smart, and outgoing.  She is growing up into a spectacular young lady.  Who one day is going to take over the world.  And if you don’t believe me, please refer to item one. 

*OK, so it is not really a legion.  There are five of them.  And they are battery powered hamsters but they are still quite intimidating.  And they have their own Dojo of Doom.

I write a lot of letters to Maks.  I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about the trials, accomplishments and joys of having Maks in my life.  But Maks is not the only child in my life.  I have a Stinky.  She is my niece.  She is a part of my life and means as much to me as Maks does.  I have been watching her lately and just marveling in her growth as a person.  She is 7 and you can already see the person that she will become.  

It frightens me to think of the unpleasantness that she is going to encounter in her life.  She will get her heartbroken, she will not get something that she really wants, she will have to deal with criticism and rejection, and these are all part of life.  The degree in which she will experience these things I don’t know and in my heart I pray that she never encounters sadness, loss, rejection or pain.  She doesn’t need that in her life but as much as I wish I could I can’t stop that from happening.   

So dearest Stinky as we walk into a new decade; a decade in which you will walk out of a teenager on the cusp of adulthood, I say this to you, full well knowing that you will not understand it now but hoping that someday you will. 

Dearest Stinky, because you are a girl, you will be judged.  You will be judged on your beauty before you are recognized as having a brain.  Your intelligence and opinion will be challenged and dismissed.  

Because you are a girl, you will be defined by the relationships that you have.  You will be categorized by your partner, your friends, your colleagues and your classmates.  You will face scrutiny, both self and socially imposed, for your choice of clothing, hair styles, mannerisms and your character. 

Because you are a girl, you will considered delicate and fragile incapable of understanding the mechanics of a car, operating a snow blower or a lawnmower.  You will be expected to be an expert when it comes to stoves and crockpots.  You will be dismissed when discussing home improvement projects or power tools.  You will not have your voice heard when discussing politics, mathematics or science.  You will be drowned out by the babble of those, male and female, that think they know more and that you need them. 

But dearest Stinky, because you are Stinky, you are capable.  You are intelligent, insightful, beautiful, strong, loud and there is no one in this world that is greater than you.  Raise your voice and make it heard.  Express your ideas, make sure you don’t let the label of ‘girl’ stop you.  Don’t let fear impact your decisions.  Listen to your heart but follow through with your mind.  No one in this world can make you feel inferior. 

Because dearest Stinky you are inferior to no one.

I have to figure out what Maks is going to be for Halloween.  Last year I waited until the last minute and all the good costumes were gone and we got stuck with the leftovers.  He ended up being a skeleton.  He was cute and all but it wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned for him. 

This year I am on the ball and am going to get him his costume this weekend.  I am thinking that he maybe Superman.  There is a really cute Super Girl costume that we found for Stinky and I was hoping that coordinate them this year.  It might take some convincing on Stinky’s part though, she tends to be a Princess for Halloween, so a super hero will be something different for her.  I figure I can put Millhouse in a superman shirt and he can be the super grown up that is walking with them.  That way people know that they belong together.  Otherwise no one would believe that they are related.  But we know that they are, no DNA testing required for them.   :) 

On a side note, I was very disappointed in the selection of costumes for girls.  They were skanky for girls in elementary school.  I expected them to be scandalous for women but French maid costumes for seven year olds is ridiculous!!

This weekend we packed up the kids (and Beanz) and head off to an indoor water park in Niagara Falls.  It wasn’t as new, big, or kid friendly as this one but it was still a lot of fun.  The kids slid, splashed and splished for about 4 hours on and off.  By the end of it they were exhausted.  And I always take that as a good sign.

 Maks has turned into quite a water baby.  He started swimming at eight months and to say he didn’t like it would be an understatement.  He was not a happy camper for his first round of swimming.  But by the time the six weeks were over, he loved it.  So we kept him in swimming.* 

 Now he loves it.  And this weekend proved that.  He didn’t want any help in the pools, he wants to swim and float on his own.**  He hated it if I tried to hold him up even if it was to keep him afloat.  And the odd time that I did let go for a second he really was threading water and attempting to swim. 

 At one point this summer, I really was thinking about taking him out of swimming because I didn’t think that he was learning at all.  But once again, I was proven wrong.  And I am pretty glad about that. 

 *At this point he wasn’t really swimming.  It was more like splashing around and playing with floaties.

 ** He was wearing a life jacket

On Sunday Stinky turned 7 and she did it like only she can ~ with a frenzied explosion of pink, sparkles, glitter, a piñata, nail polish and Disney Princess paraphernalia.  There were two cakes ~ a Barbie cake with pink icing for the dress and a princess cake with pink icing inside and out.

 She had a blast!

 7 years flew by in the blink of an eye.  And I have a feeling that the other birthdays are going to come and go just as fast.  As Millhouse has pointed out – in 6 years she is going to start high school, in 9 years she will get her learners permit, in 11 years she will graduate from high school, in 11 years she will legally be an adult, and in 12 years she will legally be able to drink.

 WOW!

 It’s truly amazing to watch her grow up.

 I love you more than you will ever understand my Stinky Binky Bum Bum Head!!!

On Sunday the Stinky turns 7.  It’s crazy how fast time has gone by.  Some days I stop and just look at her and I am amazed at how she has grown up.  She’s past my elbows now, she’s beautiful, smart, witty, and fun.  I love her because she is so fun.  She is a girlie girl that can hold her own with the boys and I love that about her.  I don’t say it often enough but Beanz has done a fantabulous job with her.  I love my Stinky and I can’t believe how fast she is moving towards double digits, life and adventure.

For her birthday Beanz initally asked me to get her a new TV.  Hers is really old and given that she has had it since she was 4 when her hands were always sticky, and Wiggles DVDs played non – stop she needs a new one.  But Beanz being Beanz changed her mind.  Instead of the TV she wanted me to get her a pet.  And I really would have.  I researched cats and kids, pet supplements,  and leashes.  But my mom is 100% against pets and since they live with my mom, a pet is out of the question.  So I’m stuck.  I think I might just get her the TV.

Back when Stinky was about 2 years old Beanz and I started spelling out words when she was in our presence.  It was mostly things like D.o.r.a, c.o.o.k.i.e. or c.a.k.e.  She knew that we were talking about something highly classified and pertinent to her but she had no idea exactly what was going on.  And it worked great.  When she learned her alphabet she even started to get tricky with us.  She would walk up to us when we were having a coded conversation, look right at us and say:  XXYUTGHN.  Then she would smirk and walk away.  She was letting us in on her secret and we had no idea what she was talking about.  Pay back of sorts.  But to be completely honest I don’t think she really knew what she was telling us, she just liked joining in on the spelling.

Now she is in grade one and she can spell.  The coded conversations that we used to have no longer work, we could be in deep conversation about D.i.s.n.e.y.l.a.n.d and she will pipe up wanting to know why we are talking about Disneyland and when we are going to go.  (For the record we are not going to go anytime soon but we are planning on going sometime this century)  Spelling no longer works.  We need to find a new way to communicate.  I am not sure how yet, because I think Stinky is now smarter than Beanz and I combined when it comes to this coded spy speak. 

And she is only six! 

I have a feeling when she’s sixteen and she is on the phone with her friends about the super hot guy in her biology class we are going to think that she is talking about algebra.  Yeah, she’s that good. 

Because I am so bored out of my skull comfortably busy at work I decided to check this out.  It is a height predictor and I am now able to use it to figure out how tall Maks is going to be.  Apparently when your kids turn two you there is some sort of mathematical formula that you can use to figure out their height at 18.  Since I suck at math and I would take a really long time to figure out his height using my brain, I used the internet.  That’s what its there for, right?  All I have to do is plug in the numbers.  Besides, I mean come on I am at work, I can’t be expected to use my brain or anything.  Geez!

Now I am short.  I am munchkin kinda short and with my weight I resemble the Pillsbury dough boy only with longer hair.  I was the kid that was always at the front of the line when you lined up for class pictures.  In every single grade I was the shortest kid.  And towards the end of elementary school, I was also the pudgiest.  Oh, and I had no athletic capabilities whatsoever.  That was fun.  Fate loved picking on me for some reason. 

But back to the calculator, Millhouse is tall so there is a chance that Millhouse will not be short.  So given that I had all this free time I plugged in all the details and waited to find out what my future looked like.  It turns out that Maks will be between 6 foot 4 and 6 foot 6 when he is 18.

Holy Sugar!!!

That’s freaking huge!!  I was expecting him to be around 6 feet nothing much taller than that.  But 6 foot 6 inches!!  The kid eats the refrigerator empty now.  What am I going to do when he is 18, 6 feet tall and is starving?  I may have to buy a cow to keep him fed.

Yikes!

I did Stinky’s too.  She’s gonna be 6 feet.  Haha Beanz she’s going to dwarf you!!

Last night Beanz & I took Maks & Princess Sparkles to see Disney on Ice.  It was our second time ever going to one of these shows.  The first time was last year when the Princess extravaganza came.  Given that Princess Sparkles is all about everything Disney princesses we had to go.  I have to admit as much as I find the Princesses to be mind numbing dribble I enjoyed it.  The Princess loved it and Maks (who was around 8 months at the time) slept through most of it.  So when Beanz saw the ads on Playhouse Disney for this show we knew we had to go again, pretty much because this would make the Princess’ 2009 or at least her March Break.

So last night we headed off to see Disney’s Fantasy on Ice.  On the bill was Cars, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King and Tinkerbell.  Can I tell you how scared I was.  I had no idea how Maks was going to behave.  He has a very short attention span and I wasn’t sure that fairy princesses swirling around on ice for close to 2 hours would hold his attention for very long.  I was fairly certain that the Cars portion of the show would hold his attention because he would be up close and personal to the greatest, most fabulous Car in his life – Mater.  But I wasn’t sure how he would handle the rest of the show.  So I brought along a baby bag filled with books, dinky cars and a bottle. 

I didn’t need it.

From the time the show started to the final curtain call, he loved it.  He sat hypnotized for the entire 2 hours.  He did try to rush the ice when Mater came out but other than that he sat quietly just watching in awe.  He even surprised me by clapping for the figure skaters when they did their solo performances.  I spent two hours staring at this baby on my lap being absolutely mesmerized by what he saw.  It really made me start thinking about planning a trip to Disney land.  I always thought that he was too young but he really had a good time last night.

Then I looked in my wallet.

It was empty.

In my haste to make sure that Maks had plenty of things to occupy himself with I had purchased 2 bags of cotton candy with a flower hat* and a McQueen hat*, 1 Tinkerbell flag, and 2 bottles of lemonade in a collectable glass.  The total damage was $52.  Beanz bought 2 light up thingies, 1 bottle of water and 1 bag of popcorn with a Mater hat* and her damage was $75. 

We were robbed!! 

That made me rethink the Disney trip.  If we did go we may have to re-mortgage the house to pay for souvenirs.

*The hats came with the cotton candy and popcorn.  We didn’t buy them in addition to the snacks.  And they were made out of foam.  If they were high quality hats I wouldn’t be so upset but the fact that the Mater hat broke before we got to the car did not impress me.