It’s 11 o’clock, do you know where your parents are?

I don’t know where mine are.

On September 25th, they returned from Trinidad.

On September 26th at 9am, they told me they would be moving out of my home on September 28th.  They had made all the arrangements and did not need my help.

On September 28th, they moved out and did not leave their forwarding address.  I was told they would be moving to a building on X Street however, since there are two apartment buildings on said street with multiple apartments, I do not know which one is theirs.

On October 1st, they returned to my house to pick up some final odds and ends.  And again, did not leave their forwarding address.  There was no; “you guys should come by and see the place”.  There was no; “when we are settled in, the boys should come by”.  There was none of that.

As of right now, I don’t know where they are now living.  My children do not know where their grandparents have moved to nor have they been asked to come by.

Let me back track a bit and fill in some gaps for you.

When my sister cussed me on June 10th, she told me my parents hated me.  She told me I was the reason they leave so often.

So I asked my dad.  Point blank.  I said you need to tell me about this because she is saying these things and I need to know if they are true or not.  He said not to listen to her, what she was saying wasn’t true.  Her parents did not feel that way about me.

He lied.

The three of them had been planning this move even before then.  They went out of their way to make sure I never knew it was being planned and to keep me from finding out.  They wanted to keep things a secret until the very last moment.

I spoke to my parents once a week from June to September.  They never once said they decided to move out, they never once said they were starting to look for a place, they never once said they found a place, they never once said they put first and last on a place, they never once said they changed their mailing address and they never once told me they arranged a truck and moving company to come to my home and get their belongings.

But the universe had other ideas.

  1. Two weeks before they returned, my dad didn’t hang up his phone properly and I heard my mom yelling at him.  She was mad because she was certain him telling my aunt that they were planning to move had gotten back to me.  She yelled at him that she told him not to tell my aunt because she would tell my cousin and my cousin would just come back and tell me.  And that’s what happened and now I knew and things were falling apart.  But my aunt or cousin didn’t tell me anything about them moving.  I hadn’t even spoken to them in a while.  My mom yelling at my dad told me they were planning to move.
  2. The mailman actually told me my parents changed their address on the same day they returned from Trinidad. He was dropping off a package for me and he needed to make sure I wasn’t any of the people he had on his change of address list.

So I knew they were going.  I just didn’t know where or when.

And it turns out they were leaving a lot sooner than I ever thought they would.  And they didn’t want me to know where they were going either.

To leave like this is hurtful.  The months of planning it takes to put something like this together and then hide it is beyond hurtful.  It is vindictive and mean.  It is cruel.  It is heartless.  It was meant to hit me to my core.  To show just how much this group of people hated me.

And it did.

These people took pride in how much pain they could inflict on me.  It feels as though they get stronger the more they beat me down.  It feels as though they are happier when they know I am hurting.  And they will go out of their way to continuously hurt me.

It is a horrible feeling knowing my parents hate me.  I held my parents in such high regard.  I lived the last thirty some odd years trying to do good by them.  I wanted to make them proud of me.  And they could care less.  They don’t care about me.  They had to make a choice and they made it.  It is heart-breaking but I have no choice but to move on.

They have the family they have always wanted.  The three of them have each other and it is what it is.  There is nothing left for me.  They have taken all they can from me and now that they are done, they have just thrown me away.

I don’t hate these people.  I am putting it out into the universe.  I wish them all well but I also wish them the same.  I hope at some time during their lifetime, they get spoken to and treated in the exact same way they have treated my family and I.

May everything they have directed to my family and I, be reflected back onto them.  May the same things be said, may they feel exactly what we have felt, and may they live through all the things we have had to endure at their hands.

That only seems fair.

With all that being said, I am done and walking away.  I have nothing left for them to throw stones at.  I have nothing left for them to break down.  This is the lowest point and I will take all the stones they have used as ammunition against me as the stepping stones to build myself back up.

What is meant for me is meant for me, and they are not meant for me.  I see that now and I will move on.

***Now before you get all bent out of shape saying how I am wishing my parents and sister ill will.  Check yourself.  I am wishing them what they wished on me, nothing more and nothing less.  May the words, thoughts and actions they directed towards me be directed towards them.  That is all.***

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