I haven’t spoken to my sister for almost a year. The year before that, our relationship was extremely strained. She had decided that my family and I just weren’t the people she and her daughter needed to be around. I used to be really close to her but things have changed. At first, I intended to use this blog as a forum to list all the ways my sister has hurt my boys and I over the last two years. For a while it seemed like a really good idea. I figured if I retold all the things she has done, and said, I would feel better.
Then I started writing all things out. I wrote down the dates and incidents and I had to stop. I couldn’t do it. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt as much as it hurt when it first happened. And then I realized reliving all the wrongs my sister has done and said (to me, about me, to my boys and about my boys) won’t help me.
I need to move past the person I thought she was. I need to step away from all the hurtful things she has said and done. I have dedicated too much time and effort focusing on her. It’s obvious that my family and I are not of her concern and I need to focus on the people that actually matter. I won’t relive the bad, I am going to focus on the people that actually care about my family. I am going to start healing myself.
I don’t have any ill will towards my sister. There are times when I think I am being too forgiving when it comes to her and I should be angrier than I am but I am not. I am disappointed. I am hurt. I am flabbergasted by her behaviour. But all in all, I wish her well. In fact, I hope she achieves whatever it is she is striving for. I hope she impresses all the people she is so desperate to impress. I hope she succeeds where she is fighting to succeed.
I just won’t be part of it. Neither will my children and husband.
That was her choice.