Lately Mats has been expressing his need to procreate. This was something he sort of sprung on me out of the blue a couple of weeks ago. We were having our nightly conversation about the state of the world and he told me he is going to have a baby when he is ready. Now given that Mats is FIVE, I didn’t really expect to be having a baby conversation with him this early on but if this is what he wants to talk about, then this is what we are going to talk about. After the first conversation, he has mentioned the baby on and off in passing every now and then, but I pretty much know he has pretty much figured out what he wants to do.
So here is the gist of the conversation.
Mats has decided that when he gets old enough, he wants to have a baby.
He is not too keen on the getting married part and has decided he will go ahead with having the baby but not getting married. He knows people can have babies and not be married and he is cool with that. I did, however, stress to him the importance in making sure whomever he decides to procreate with knows his intention upfront about not getting married. I explained to him that some girls would prefer to be married when they have babies and they could get very angry and upset if they have a baby with someone who did not want to get married. Now at this time, he does not have a specific girl in mind to have the baby with but he is confident this is something he can figure out as the time gets closer.
I also explained to him that he would have to work really hard as a dad. I told him being a dad is more than just playing with a baby and he will have to work harder than he has ever imagined working to take care of his child (and yes, at this time he only wants one baby). He told he knew how hard it was to be a dad; you have to work all day and be really tired when you get home, you never get to watch your own t.v. shows or play your own video games, and you have to buy things all the time for your baby but he is OK with that. He just wants to have someone he can love because he says having someone to love is important.
Now, so far through the conversation, Mats had an answer for every question I posed to him. He had really thought about this and it was obvious. But his last statement threw me for a loop and I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him; he wanted to have the baby. As in he wanted to be the one to carry and birth the baby. This is why he didn’t think the marriage bit was important, he wanted to be the one to do it all. And when I explained to him that boys could not actually carry babies, he got very upset. He thought it was really unfair only girls could have the babies in their tummies. He didn’t understand why a boy who wanted to have a baby could not just get one put in their stomachs like girls did. This put a whole new spin on our conversation and I was stumped as to how to explain why only girls could carry children. Thankfully, he was really tired by this point and I told him we would finish talking about this part later.
So far he has taken me up on that, and I am glad. Cause I still don’t have an answer for him.