Now and Then: The Christmas Decorating edition

There was a time in my life when I wasn’t a mother.  It feels like it was lifetimes ago.  But there was a time when I could be all wild and crazy and do silly things, like, pee without an audience or sleep in until 8am or not have to justify bath or bed times to anyone.  I used to have time to read books that had no pictures and actually sit down to eat.

I know that all this sounds not all like me, but I swear, it all really happened like that.

Then Maks came along and I lost my mind became a mom.  Three years later, Mat came along, and I lost my mind completely became a mom a mom of two.  I do things differently now.

 Before I was a mom, decorating for Christmas went like this:

• Pick a theme
• Go to Walmart, Zellers, Michaels and Bowring and get all the elements of my theme together including matching gift wrap and personalized Christmas cards.
• Stop for some lunch and a gingerbread latte.
• Come home and put up the tree and decorate strategically so that all the ornaments, figurines, wreaths, bells and angels were picturesque and resembled a magazine layout.
• Tidy up the boxes
• Sit with a glass of wine and just bask in the whimsy that is my holiday décor.

Now things are a bit different.  This is how it goes down:

• Pick a theme
• Put the kids in their snowsuits.  Help Maks find his other mitten and the hat with the bubble on top.  He won’t go until he has that specific hat.  Put Baby’s mittens and shoes back on.  He pulled them off while you were helping Maks.  Buckle everyone into their car seats.  Go back in the house and get the baby bag that I forgot right by the front door.  Put the car in drive and head out.
• Drive around the block and come back to the house to make sure that I remembered to close the garage door.
• Get to Walmart and find a shopping cart with working seat belts.  Unbuckle the boys from their car seats and secure the boys in the shopping cart.  Head over to the Christmas section and look at all the elements of needed to get the theme together but get sidetracked by the kids who don’t like the ice blue snowflakes and want to get Lightening MacQueen and Transformers themed decorations instead.
• Plead your case with the kids but after ten minutes of trying to convince them, I bend I get a cartful of Disney themed gift wrap decorations and wreath.
• Give up on going to Zellers, Michaels and Bowring.  Decide to just head home.
• Come home and unload the kids from the car.  Help them out of their winter gear.  Tell Maks to put his mittens in his hat and his hat into the sleeve of his coat.  Free Baby from his snowsuit. 
• Get lunch ready and feed the kids.
• Remind Millhouse that all the Christmas stuff is still in the car.  He says he’ll get them out later.
• Clean up after lunch and put the kids down to nap.
• Sink into the couch and decide to decorate “later”.

The following weekend…..

• Bring the bags of stuff in from the garage.
• Break up fights between the boys as they rediscover all the Christmas stuff from last week that they forgot about.
• Put up the tree and anchor it down really well because the kids like to reach down the Disney themed ornaments to play with them as soon as I leave the room.  This usually results in the tree tipping over.* 
• Attempt to decorate strategically but get shanghaied as the kids decide they want to decorate and they place items everywhere and anywhere they see fit.
• Review the house and realize that it looks like Santa’s elves have run amuck and Christmas threw up all over the place.
• Give up on tidying up the boxes and just push them off into a corner and throw a holiday blanket over them so that they blend in.
• Sit down and marvel at the fact that I survived all this.  And decide to not do all this next year.
• Find Maks mitten under the couch.

*The tree has been pulled over almost every year for the past nine years.  The tree is artificial and doesn’t hurt them when it falls on top of them.