I am missing out on so much

Now that I am back at work I feel like I am missing out on so much of of my son’s life. When we get up in the morning I only get to see him for about a half an hour and even that is a rushed half an hour because we are both trying to get ready for the day. Then we ride together in the car but he usually falls asleep on the ride to and from the daycare so we really don’t have much of an interaction. When we get home in the evenings beause he has fallen asleep in the car he usually stays asleep until 7pm and then I am rushing to get him fed and bathed and off to bed. There is no time for us just to hang out and play.

Yesterday it hurt so much. He gets these daily reports from the daycare that fill me in on his day; what he ate, how he behaved, etc. On the report from the daycare yesterday the daycare staff reports that he was very affectionate and going around hugging everyone. It hurt so much because I missed out on that. I mean I wasn’t there to be a part of it, and that is killing me. I so want to be a part of his life but I can’t because we need the money. It is like someone else is raising him and I only get to observe every once in awhile.

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