Randomosity – Mommy Style!

Yesterday was what I am hoping is going to be one of my last midwife appointments.  I am about 11 days away from my due date and I am looking forward to meeting this little person.  But Baby M looks like he is going to be hanging around the belly for a little while longer. 

With my due date getting closer I now have my records and I snooped through it all as soon as I got home.  So here are the latest updates direct from the files of the midwife.

• Baby M is approximately 7.2lbs at this point.  Which is not too scary.  Maks was 7.5lbs when he was born so this new baby isn’t going to be too much bigger than Maks.  I am hoping anyway.
• I have to go to another ultrasound.  My midwife wants to make sure that my fluid levels are good and that the baby has enough room in there.
• I am GBS positive.  And because I have an allergy to penicillin it looks like baby and I will be staying in the hospital for up to 48 hours after birth.  If my labour is longer than 12 hours then there is no worries but if the labour moves quickly (like everyone thinks it will) then baby and I will have an extended stay to make sure that the infection isn’t carried on to the baby.

With Maks I had some real issues with breastfeeding.  It was hard.  I expected to breastfeeding to be easy.  It wasn’t.  I couldn’t produce, I was tired and the hospital ended up supplementing with formula after about 24 hours.  I was very upset that for the first little while I had to supplement.  But with a whole lot of pumping (I killed two breast pumps in Maks first year) and stubbornness we got breastfeeding to work.

But I have never felt like more of a failure than I did during those six weeks.  The lack of support that I had from the doctors, nurses and the non-existent lactation consultant had me feeling like I would never be able to do it.  But eventually I did it.  And this time around I know what to expect.

I feel confident this time around that things are going to be different.  And I am pretty proud of myself.  I intend to nurse as much as I can.  I am not as concerned about what people think this time around, I just want to breastfeed.  I have made this known to just about anyone who asks me.  So I very surprised when my cousin forwarded me a link yesterday about the vulgarity of women that breastfeed in public. 

I was appalled. 

To me breastfeeding is not sexual, it is about survival.  And as someone who couldn’t do it for so long I was very upset.  I don’t understand why it would upset people to know that a woman is breastfeeding in their general vicinity.  Breast does not automatically translate to sex.  People need to get their mind out of the gutter.

When I was pregnant with Maks just about all the people that I encountered said that I would go full term.  They were wrong and I knew that they would be.  But this time around everyone is the opposite. 

Because of my size they are convinced that I am not going to make it to term.  But I think that they may be off.  I think that this kid may end up making it all the way to end and maybe then some.

So I am holding off on getting direct mail postcards for the birth announcements until this baby makes an appearance.  Which was the opposite of what I did with Maks.

Here is another page from Stinky’s Wimpy Kid book.  I love this book and really do spend a lot of time thinking up the answers to these things.

What is the most embarassing that ever happened to someone that wasn’t you?

Oh there are so many answers to that questions but I don’t know if I am allowed to go into detail about them.  So I will just list them quickly. 

• There was the time that Millhouse had too much to drink and as a result we were not allowed to make left turns.  Unfortunately there were a lot of left turns on the ride home and he spent a lot of time hanging out of the car window.
• There was the time that Beanz decided that firemen weren’t so hot and she went over to drop off her donation to the food bank in her pj’s.  Turns out firemen really are that cute. 

What is the worst thing you ever ate?

As in food product?  This is hard because I really like food.  I would have to say that Phillipino shrimp paste and I just don’t get along.  Most shrimp items I am good with but for some reason I wasn’t able to swallow this.

How many steps does it take you to take you to jump into bed after you turn off the light?

None.  I turn off the light from the bed.  Niffy huh?

How much would you be willing to pay for an extra hour of sleep in the morning?

$20 on weekends and $50 during the week.

Have you ever pretended you were sick so you could stay home from school?

Damn skippy!  I’ve played sick so I didn’t have to go to work too. 

Does it get on your nerves when people skip?

Not really but I don’t know that many people that skip.

Did you ever do something bad that you never got busted for?

Um………….your turn!!!

As of next week I will be 37 weeks pregnant. 

I am pretty much organized.  I have my hospital bag mostly packed.  I still need to throw in stuff me to wear if I have to spend the night (which is most likely going to happen) and stuff to come home in.  Coming home is fairly easy.  It is the finding something to wear while in the hospital that is proving to be a problem.  I want to nurse and I don’t have any button up pjs.  In fact I have no pjs at all.  I sleep in granny nightgowns (yes, Millhouse is a lucky man!!) and I don’t want to take them to the hospital.  And I am scared to go buy something because I don’t know what size I am going to be.  After Maks was born my pre-mat “fat” clothes fit but I don’t think that will be happening this time around.  So I am left with nothing for me in the overnight bag.  Hopefully Beanz will be able to do some last minute shopping for me when the baby gets here.

Also, work has gotten super, duper boring.  I am so tired of going in am so happy that this is my last week.  I have one of those really boring accounting jobs and now that the new girl is fully trained I have nothing to do.  So I spend the majority of my time trying to look busy and counting down the minutes.

All in all this pregnancy has seemed longer than my pregnancy with Maks and I getting to the point where I am super duper anxious to meet this new baby.

Today’s post can be credited to Stinky and her Wimpy Kid “Do it yourself” book.  Beanz got her the book to keep her entertained in between her swimming lessons, karate lessons, day camp and dance class.  Personally I think that Beanz wanted to exhaust Stinky over her summer holiday so that when school rolled back around Stinky would be grateful for the time to rest and do homework.  In theory, I see this working but Beanz failed to take into consideration that Stinky is inexhaustible.  The child could run a marathon and still have enough energy to climb a mountain after.  I have been trying for years to find some way to harness her energy to power my car.  I haven’t figured it out yet.  When I do I’ll let you know. 

Anyway moving on.  The book.  It is a write your own book kind of thing and I found it hilarious.  So I am “borrowing” some of the questions and using them as my random thoughts.  Why?  Because the questions are truly random and I never would have been smart enough to come up with them on my own.

I officially predict that 20 years from now cars will run on cream soda instead of gas.

A cheeseburger will cost $9800.00 because cows will be an endangered species.  Squirrel burgers will be readily available and affordable though.

A ticket to the movies will cost $o.20 because everyone will be watching movies on the internet instead.

Underwear will be made out of corn silk and it will be recycled after every use.

MTV will no longer exist as an entertainment channel.  It will be considered political television.

A guidette named Snooki will be president.  And the fist pump will the official greeting.

There will be more chia pets than people.

Aliens will visit our planet in the year 2036 and make the following announcement:

People of Earth we come in peace.  We are here to let you know that Twinkies were placed here long ago as a surveillence tool and were never meant to be eaten.  Please do not eat anymore Twinkies.

I’m all done now.  Head over to Keely’s for some non – wimpy kid randomness.

It’s August 15, 2010.  You know what that means?  In give or take a couple of days we will be two weeks away from September.  In my head that means that summer will be over. 

Is it just me or did summer fly by? 

Mind you the majority of my summer was celebrated in June and July.  I knew that come August I would be a miserable biotch and that outdoor activities in high humidity would not be a good idea so we went to the beach, picnics, hikes and amusement parks all before I started complaining. 

The next couple of weeks we plan to spend relatively close to home.  You will have BBQ’s, fill up the inflatable pool and hit the nearby parks.  But there will not be any far away treks for this chick.  Mostly because I am afraid of going into labour hours away from my hospital but also because sitting for long periods of time makes me really, really grouchy. 

I am hoping that next year we can do an honest to goodness roadtrip.  I am hoping we can see the East Coast or at the very least the Tulip Festival in Ottawa.  But for right now I will enjoy the heat watching informercials about promo keychains from my air conditioned living room and wait for number two to arrive.

The closer I get to get to mat leave, the more time I have during the day to contemplate things that I encounter.  Depending on who you ask this could be a good thing or a really bad thing.  In my pondering moments I come up with some very interesting theories. 

Here are some of them. 

Michelle Duggar has lost her mind, literally.

Now having 19 kids is a sure sign of crazy for a lot of people but I have been thinking about it and I have a medical explanation for this lady treating her vagina like a clown car.  She is suffering from a severe case of mommy brain.  It is a scientific fact that during pregnancy a woman’s brain shrinks and doesn’t return to normal size until about 6 weeks after the baby’s birth.  Now Michelle Duggar has been pregnant for practically 20 years, which means that her brain did not have the opportunity to return to her regular mental capabilities after the birth of her children.  Based on my theory she is most literally has a pea brain and that explains the 19 kids and counting. 

Jerry Springer is a genius, no really he is.

Y’all know what the Jerry Springer show is, right?  He’s the one that has topics like:  Bubba is in love with a llama that thinks it’s a lesbian.  But wait!  The Lesbian llama has been cheating on Bubba with his brother’s cousin’s sister that just got out of jail.  Jerry will bring all three of them on stage and they fight, literally, until the commercial break.  That is the premise of every single Jerry Springer show.  Some ‘unique’ love triangle than ends in fisticuffs.  Now here’s why I think Jerry is a genius; he doesn’t have to do anything.  He gets paid to stand back, let his ‘guests’ run the show, has his audience flash their breasts for beads and provides some sentimental monologues at the end.  So he works for 15 minutes an episode max and gets paid big money and has been getting big money for years now. Way to capitalize on being a lazy ass.  Now that is smart.

Montana Fishburne is right.

I think I spelt her last name wrong but the person I am referring to is the 19 year old daughter of Laurence Fisbourne.  You know the dude from Matrix and CSI.  Now you see his wise daughter has decided that she wants to be famous.  A different kind of famous than the famous she already is for being a famous daughter.  She wants to be a star all by herself, like a big girl.  And she is going to do this through porn.  She went out and made an honest to goodness porn.  She didn’t do a homemade version, and leak it to the press.  She went right to the production company and made one professionally.  Her reason for doing this is because she wants to be famous.  And she’s right.  Porn will make you famous.  Look at Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Tila Tequila, Kendra Wilkinson, Screech and the list goes on and on.  In my opinion, if you have no marketable skills or talent, make a porno and at the very least you’ll get your own reality show and possibily your own brand of wholesale apparel.

We’ve hired a cleaning lady.  With my ever growing belly, chores have become very difficult.  I mentioned this to my mom and she got into contact with one of her friends that  cleans for a living.

Now she is going to come once a week to tidy things up.  She is going to do the majority of the mopping, sweeping, and cleaning the bathrooms.  This helps me out in a big way.  Even though we have had to cancel our roadside assistance club membership.

But so far having a cleaning lady seems worth it.